WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD

Find several answers from different brains below:

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


 * KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side..


 * PLATO: For the greater good.


 * ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.


 * KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.


 * SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


 * RONALD REAGAN: I forget.


 * CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


 * MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: ... I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.


 * MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.


 * JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking
 around all over the place, anyway?"


 * FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


 * GEORGE W. BUSH (2): We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.


 * OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"


 * DARWIN : Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.


 * EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.


 * BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.


 * ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

 * RAY MACAULEY: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?  Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it, "the other side."Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken
 should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

 * NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.

 * THABO MBEKI: We need to establish if really there is a connection between the chicken and the road.

 * ROBERT MUGABE: For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underprivileged chicken has waited too long for
 that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform.  We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross and the freedom to cross them..

 * ISAAC NEWTON: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken's motion

 * MOHAMMED ALDOURI: ( Iraq Ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

 * RAILA ODINGA: Had the chicken signed an MOU not to cross the road?

 *MWAI EMILIO KIBAKI: Kuku ilivuka pale ikienda pale pale!

 *BINGU WA MUTHARIKA: The Bill of rights gives all individuals the right to associate freely. This question only addresses the concerns of humans in the Opposition! I know the guys behind this!

* BAKILI MULUZI: Fotseki!! Mitu Bi! Nkhukuzo zimadya pakhomo pa amanu? (He is swearing and asks if the chickens eat at your mom's house!)

 *JOHN TEMBO: I will not answer your question until the following 

are dealt with. Number One: The chicken has crossed the road and should 

be removed. Number two: The budget to provide funds to investigate the 

reason for the chicken to cross the road. Without this order, no 

answer, even if you kill me.

try it...lol

101 Ways To Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. 44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera. 89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

lmao...FAIL!!

Brighten your day with these epic failures I found while surfing the net.

beautiful engineering

i sooo want one of these!!!

This made me cry...

"Clareece 'Precious' Jones: [Crying hysterically] Nobody loves me!
Ms. Rain: People do love you, Precious.
Clareece 'Precious' Jones: Please don't lie to me, Ms. Rain! Love ain't done nothing for me... but beat me... rape me... call me an animal! Make me feel worthless! Make me sick!
Ms. Rain: [Tears begin falling from her eyes] That wasn't love, Precious. Your baby loves you. *I* love you!"

This came from the movie precious. I highly recommend you watch it.

So many people these days complain about having it hard, even i do, but we often take things for granted because there are so many people in this world who are so much less fortunate than us. I'm not particularly religious but i believe that there is a God out there who blesses us and by complaining, we are depreciating the things we have been blessed with. 

The other day i was sitting in the car with my mom eating something from McDonalds when a hobo came to the window and begged for food. I felt so ashamed of myself when i looked away because i know i could have made a small difference in that mans life even just by giving him one or two rands. 

A month or so ago, i watched a movie called paying it forward where a boy came up a scheme where he said that if everyone in the world helped three people to achieve something that'll make them happy and each person you help will, in turn, help three other people and it will eventually make the world a better place.

Peace out 

xxx

Loving the right person at the wrong time...

by Fiona

Loving the right person at the wrong time,
Having the wrong person when the time is right
Finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life
Sometimes you think you're already over a person,
But when you see them smile at you,
You'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them
Just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.
For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much they love that person.
In my opinion, some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.
Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love.
Love is always present.
It's just one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little.
As we all know that the heart is the center of the body
But it beats on the left. maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right.
Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love
But to only discover that for them we are just for pass in time.
While the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.
So here's a piece of advice;
Let go when you're hurting to much.
Give up when love isn't enough.
And move on when things are not like before.
For sure there is someone out there who will love you even more...

WASSUP BEAUTIFUL PPL :D

Hey Guys,  
I'm starting this blog because i'm sitting at home with nothing to do, on a Saturday. My social life seems to have gone down the drain this term cos of all my studying (lame!) and because of my wonderful (SARCASM) mother.


So, lemme give you some food for thought:
Two weeks ago my boyfriend introduced me to one of his friends and there was this weird connection between him and I. so later that night I invited him on mxit and we instantly hit it off. We had so much in common and i started falling for him so i told him, but i still had a boyfriend, so we didn't do anything about it.
Then, one or two days later, i found out that one of my friends was also into him and she asked me to sorta hook them up, so i told the guy that she was crazy for him blah blah blah, and it killed me with jealousy so a few days later, i broke up with my boyfriend because i loved him too much to cheat on him.
Later that day, i found out that the other guy was now dating my friend. i was kinda bummed but i was happy for her either way (though i knew there was no way in hell she was being faithful).
About a week later him and i started getting really close and then one afternoon we got together and he sorta cheated on his girlfriend, my friend, with me. I know i should have felt kinda guilty about it, but i didn't really give a s***.
The day after, she found out and she started ignoring me. She dumped him a few hours later and we officially started dating. she asked me over mxit whether i was proud of what i did and i told her that, "yea. I'm really proud" then she deleted me and she her status as, "Whores will be whores so i can't blame Ethel.", so i set mine as, "You can call me a whore till the end of time sweety, it's not gonna change the fact that you're the epitome of a slut." 


Who's the wrong one? Was i supposed to let her play him and forget about how i felt for him?

Ethel


OK, fine. two wrongs don't make a right. Fanx Matt